Unmarried girl and the Rich man.....lol

A young unmarried girl discovers that she is pregnant.......
Scared,

She confides this ' news' to her mother.

Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "Who was
the pig that did
This to you?

I want to know!" The girl picks up the phone and makes
a call.

Half an hour later a Ferrari stops in front of their
house; a mature
And distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably
dressed in a very expensive suit steps out of it and
enters the house.

He sits in the living room with the father, the mother
and the
Girl, and tells them: "Good morning, your daughter has
informed me of the
Problem. However, I can't marry her because of my
personal family
Situation, but I'll take responsibility. If a girl is
born I will bequeath her 2 retail stores, a townhouse,
a beach villa and a $1,000,000 bank account. If a boy
is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a
$2,000,000 bank account.
If it is twins, a factory and $1,000,000 each.

However,
If there is a miscarriage or unsucessful delivery , what do you suggest
I do?"

At this point, the father, who had remained silent,
places a hand

Firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him, "You can
try again!..............."

Tales from The Panchatantra 2K6

Once upon a time, there was a software engineer who used to develop programs on his Pentium machine, sitting under a tree on the banks of a river. He used to earn his bread by selling those programs in the Sunday market.

One day, while he was working, his machine tumbled off the table and fell in the river. Encouraged by the Panchatantra story of his childhood (the woodcutter and the axe), he started praying to the River Goddess.

The River Goddess wanted to test him and so appeared only after one month of rigorous prayers. The engineer told her that he had lost his computer in the river. As usual, the Goddess wanted to test his honesty. She showed him a match box and asked, "Is this your computer ?"
Disappointed by the Goddess' lack of computer awareness, the engineer replied, "No." She next showed him a pocket-sized calculator and asked if that was his. Annoyed, the engineer said "No, not at all!!"

Finally, she came up with his own Pentium machine and asked if it was his.
The engineer, left with no option, sighed and said "Yes."
The River Goddess was happy with his honesty. She was about to give him all three items, but before she could make the offer, the engineer asked her, "Don't you know that you're supposed to show me some better computers before bringing up my own ?"
The River Goddess, angered at this, replied, "I know that, you stupid idiot! The first two things I showed you were the Trillennium and the Billennium, the latest computers from IBM!"
So saying, she disappeared with the Pentium!!

Moral: If you're not up-to-date with technology trends, it is better keep your mouth shut and let people think you're a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt!!!

Don't copy if you can't paste

Not too long ago, a large seminar was held for ministers and reverends in training.
Among the facilitators were many well-known motivational speakers.
One such speaker boldly approached the pulpit and, gathering the entire crowd's attention, said, "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife!"
The crowd was shocked! He followed up by saying,
"That woman was my mother!" The crowd burst into laughter and he gave his speech, which was well received.

About a week later, one of the ministers who had attended the seminar decided to use that joke in his sermon.

As he shyly approached the pulpit one sunny Sunday, he tried to rehearse the joke in his head.

It was a bit foggy to him. Getting to the microphone he said loudly, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife!"
His congregation sat shocked, murmuring.

After standing there for almost 10 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke, the pastor finally blurted out "...and I can't remember who she was!"

Moral of the story: Don't copy if you can't paste.

Phone Bil.... Good joke

The phone bill was exceptionally high and the man of the house called a family meeting.

*Dad:* People this is unacceptable. You have to limit the use of the phone. I do not use this phone, I use the one at the office.

*Mom*: Same here, I hardly use this home telephone as I use my work telephone

*Son*: Me too, I never use the home phone. I always use my company mobile

*Maid*: So what is the problem? We all use our work telephones

Indina Cartoons

FW: Self Appraisal - Too Good

Self-Appraisal:

A little boy went into a drug store, reached for a soda carton and pulled it over to the telephone. He climbed onto the carton so that he could reach the buttons on the phone and proceeded to punch in seven digits.


The store-owner observed and listened to the conversation:


The boy asked, "Lady, Can you give me the job of cutting your lawn? The woman replied, "I already have someone to cut my lawn. Lady, I will cut your lawn for half the price of the person who cuts your lawn now."
replied boy.


The woman responded that she was very satisfied with the person who was presently cutting her lawn.


The little boy found more perseverance and offered, "Lady, I'll even clean your fence and your sidewalk, so on Sunday you will have the prettiest lawn in all of Palm beach, Florida. Again the woman answered in the negative.


With a smile on his face, the little boy replaced the receiver. The store-owner, who was listening to all, walked over to the boy and said,


"Son... I like your attitude; I like that positive spirit and would like to offer you a job".


The little boy replied, "No thanks, I was just checking my performance with the job I already have. I am the one who is working for that lady, I was talking to! "

FW: : Police Cars around the world-read the msg

Japan...lancer Evo IX..max speed 280km/hr


German police car...Lamborgini..gallardo..max speed 320km/hr


France ...pegaut...sports


spain ....audi TT max speed 280km/hr





Now the Ultimate Police Car in the World !!!



India 's Mahindra Jeep !!!


Max Speed not disclosed due to Security Reasons ...))

What an Interpretation - Njoy it!!!

About a century or two ago, the Pope decided that all the Sikhs had to
leave Italy. Naturally there was a big uproar from the Sikh community. So
the Pope made a deal. He would have a religious debate with a member of the
Sikh community. If the Sikh won, the Sikhs could stay. If the Pope won, the
Sikhs would leave. The Sikhs realized that they had no choice. So they
picked a middle-aged man named Harbinder Singh to represent them. Harbinder
asked for one additional condition to the debate. To make it more
interesting, neither side would be allowed to talk. The Pope agreed.

The day of the great debate came. Harbinder Singh and the Pope sat opposite
each other for a full minute.
1. Then the Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers.
Harbinder looked back at him and raised one finger.
2. The Pope waved his fingers in a circle around his head.
Harbinder pointed to the ground where he sat.
3. The Pope pulled out a wafer and a glass of wine.
Harbinder pulled out an apple.
The Pope stood up and said, "I give up. This man is too good. The Sikhs can stay."

An hour later, the cardinals were gathered around the Pope asking him what
had happened.
1. The Pope said, "First I held up three fingers to represent the holy trinity. He responded by holding up one finger to remind me that there was still One God common to both our religions.
2. Then, I waved my finger around me to show him that God was all around us. He responded by pointing to the ground and showing that God was also right here with us.
3. Then, I pulled out the wine and wafer to show that God absolves us from our sins. He pulled out an apple to remind me of original sin.
He had an answer for everything. What could I do?"

Meanwhile, the Sikh community had crowded around Harbinder Singh. "What
happened?" they asked.
1. "Well," said Harbinder, "First he said to me that the Sikhs had three days to get out of here. I told him, not one of us was leaving.
2. Then he told me that this whole city would be cleared of Sikhs. I let him know that we were staying right here."
3. "Yes, and then???" asked the crowd.

"I don't know", said Harbinder, "He took out his lunch, and I took out mine”.

Its Chicken Eggs !