Tales from The Panchatantra 2K6

Once upon a time, there was a software engineer who used to develop programs on his Pentium machine, sitting under a tree on the banks of a river. He used to earn his bread by selling those programs in the Sunday market.

One day, while he was working, his machine tumbled off the table and fell in the river. Encouraged by the Panchatantra story of his childhood (the woodcutter and the axe), he started praying to the River Goddess.

The River Goddess wanted to test him and so appeared only after one month of rigorous prayers. The engineer told her that he had lost his computer in the river. As usual, the Goddess wanted to test his honesty. She showed him a match box and asked, "Is this your computer ?"
Disappointed by the Goddess' lack of computer awareness, the engineer replied, "No." She next showed him a pocket-sized calculator and asked if that was his. Annoyed, the engineer said "No, not at all!!"

Finally, she came up with his own Pentium machine and asked if it was his.
The engineer, left with no option, sighed and said "Yes."
The River Goddess was happy with his honesty. She was about to give him all three items, but before she could make the offer, the engineer asked her, "Don't you know that you're supposed to show me some better computers before bringing up my own ?"
The River Goddess, angered at this, replied, "I know that, you stupid idiot! The first two things I showed you were the Trillennium and the Billennium, the latest computers from IBM!"
So saying, she disappeared with the Pentium!!

Moral: If you're not up-to-date with technology trends, it is better keep your mouth shut and let people think you're a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt!!!

Don't copy if you can't paste

Not too long ago, a large seminar was held for ministers and reverends in training.
Among the facilitators were many well-known motivational speakers.
One such speaker boldly approached the pulpit and, gathering the entire crowd's attention, said, "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife!"
The crowd was shocked! He followed up by saying,
"That woman was my mother!" The crowd burst into laughter and he gave his speech, which was well received.

About a week later, one of the ministers who had attended the seminar decided to use that joke in his sermon.

As he shyly approached the pulpit one sunny Sunday, he tried to rehearse the joke in his head.

It was a bit foggy to him. Getting to the microphone he said loudly, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife!"
His congregation sat shocked, murmuring.

After standing there for almost 10 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke, the pastor finally blurted out "...and I can't remember who she was!"

Moral of the story: Don't copy if you can't paste.

Phone Bil.... Good joke

The phone bill was exceptionally high and the man of the house called a family meeting.

*Dad:* People this is unacceptable. You have to limit the use of the phone. I do not use this phone, I use the one at the office.

*Mom*: Same here, I hardly use this home telephone as I use my work telephone

*Son*: Me too, I never use the home phone. I always use my company mobile

*Maid*: So what is the problem? We all use our work telephones